I Grew A Human

So I grew a human – Lady Baby DMX – and she is finally on the outside! She’s been on the outside for quite some time now, but I haven’t had much time to write about it. Now that she is on the outside, we are calling her Eleanor, or Elle for short, and I super like her a lot.

Elle was actually born on our fourth wedding anniversary (as well as on our friend Avery’s birthday…and our friend Hailey’s birthday…and our friend Delaney’s birthday)! What are the chances?? It seems there is some magnetic force field around November 1^st in our group of friends. 

Growing a human was tough but getting the human out was re-damn-diculous. I won’t go through the whole “birth story” because I don’t think you care, but here are the highlights:

• I was induced. Don’t ask why. I don’t know. The doctor offered and I said hells-to-the-yes. She was measuring a little big and I think that had something to do with it. Or maybe the doctor could just see it in my eyes. I was totally uncomfortable and ready to get the show on the road.
• Once they started the Pitocin, it took right around 12 hours for her to make her appearance – two of those 12 hours were pushing. Pushing is hard work, yo.
• I said yes to Morphine and I’m not ashamed of it.
• Morphine doesn’t work for everyone. I seem to be one of those people.
• I said yes to that epidural pretty quickly and I’m not ashamed of it.
• Epidurals don’t help back labor.
• I had back labor.
• Back labor may or may not make you sob uncontrollably and insist that you can’t do it anymore. Christopher tried to be helpful and tell me I could do it, but when you are in that much pain and *maybe* sobbing uncontrollably, those kind words just seem ridiculous and may or may not just make you mad.
• Christopher and I agreed that he would stand at waist level or behind the whole time. About 10-15 minutes into pushing he was checking everything out and watched for the duration. In fact, he stood so close that he got splashed with baby juice when she FINALLY came out. (Unless that’s TMI and gross to you. In which case – What baby juice??? I would never share such information. I don’t know what you are talking about.) (Also, that’s what happens when you go off plan!) If I wasn’t in so much pain I probably would have found it a little more funny.
• Eleanor Ireland (Eleanor after Eleanor Roosevelt and Ireland because we liked the name) was born at 10:27pm, weighed 8lbs. 12oz., and was 20.5 inches long. It took me about five minutes to become completely smitten with her. 

Christopher and I have been spending some time wondering if Elle is cute. WE think she is cute…but she’s ours. Our parents think she’s cute (in fact, INSIST that she's cute), but they are biased as well - perhaps even more so than we are (after all, we are open to the theory that she might not be cute). Our friends *tell* us she is cute but nobody is going to tell us our baby isn’t cute…so how do we know?!?! Dudes, not all babies are cute. We all know it. And the parents of ugly babies still think their babies are cute. You know what I'm talking about. 

Things I have learned:

• Not all Pampers are created equal.
• Breastfeeding is also re-damn-diculous. I don’t know how animals in the wild survive. In fact, I may go so far as to say that I think the emotional and psychological damage it inflicts on the mother may be greater than the health benefit to the baby. Take that, Le Leche League.
• Fisher Price thinks this is called the “Rock and Play” but it’s actually called “the best $65 the Nixons have ever spent.”

• The baby startle reflex, also known as the moro reflex, is AWESOME!!!
• I am oddly compelled to taste everything that she has to taste so…berry flavored gas drops are surprisingly pleasant, orange flavored Diflucan isn’t great but it’s okay, Gripe Water is offensive, pacifier wipes don’t really taste like anything – unless you taste the actual wipe and then it feels weird on your tongue.
• Jaundice lights might be cute but they are a pain in the rear.

Eleanor…

attended her first 5k on Thanksgiving and watched Daddy cross the finish line at the Turkey Strut in Winston.

picked out her first Christmas tree at the Farmer’s Market.

had a special beer brewed in her honor WITH special label.

met her great grandmother 

and of course her grandparents

and Aunt Bethany and Uncle Keith

has spent some quality time meeting the animals...

Buster Cat Nixon, 

Miss. Tuesday, 

and Leroy!

attended her first half marathon and watched Daddy cross the finish line at the Mistletoe Half Marathon in Winston.

got her first pair of Christmas pajamas.

opened her first Christmas presents. 

got dressed up for Christmas Eve Mass at St. Leo’s 

and P.S. had a cute ruffled bum. 

At Christmas dinner the other day, Uncle Keith asked, "So, uhm...I've been meaning to ask, but wasn't really sure how...uh - you have been taking REAL pictures of her as well, right? Not just Instagram pictures, right? I mean - you don't want her to grow up and ask, 'You had really nice, 8 mega-pixel cameras. Why does everything look like crap taken in the 70's?'" Hahaha! Yes - we are taking "real" pictures too but Instagram is FUN! 

Soooo...I'm sure I'm forgetting lots of stuff, but that stuff will just serve for more blog fodder later on. 

Welcome, Eleanor! We are so glad you are here!